Blamestorming at work
Two years ago I had, within a one-hour drive, seven different people who I could hang out with, take in a movie, game, have lunch or dinner, what-have-you. Normal friend stuff.
Since then, two have moved out of the country, two have moved out of state, two just don't hang out with me anymore, and one... the one I considered a best friend... ghosted me. Just stopped talking at all. I don't know why, and I may never.
But hey, it's okay! When I say I'm going to run a game, people come flocking! Yep, absolutely! I can absolutely GM and write and run games for folks. I mean, I'm good at that.
When the game ends, of course, everyone's ready to talk to each other and make plans for other stuff. I mean, not with -me-, of course. That'd be... foolish? I guess?
I'm not going to stop running games. I -like- running games.
And I feel that if I stopped? No one would interact with me at all.
And yes, I know. Suggest. I have. I've suggested lunches. I've suggested movies. I've suggested just getting together to hang out. In response, I get empty promises. Lunch? Yes, one of them said that'd be a great idea... mid-January. Hang out? Sure! Oh, making definite plans for it? Total silence. Rain-check for a meet-up? A lot of hemming and hawing.
I feel so damn alone. I feel like no one really wants to interact with me face-to-face anymore.
I feel like if I vanished, no one would really miss me. Maybe they'd miss the games, but they wouldn't miss me.