Kinda a rant but I have had a few games that I have applied to say they allow gay/bi characters only to apply and have them say they won't accept gay/bi MALE characters.... I mean thats fine if you only want to write lesbian scenes or things you are into.

But at least say in the game description that you won't allow non-straight men, saves people time in writing up descriptions and filling out all the forms only to have the rejected for something like that. I had some games that said straight characters only, which is straight forward and then I know...

Not sure if this is allowed to be posted. I have never posted outside of a game before.

But I have had this happen a few times, and its upsetting to see how many GMs put in gay/bi just to mean lesbians.

Please just be honest and say male characters have to be straight.
This message had punctuation tweaked by the user at 11:13, Mon 23 Oct 2023.

As disappointing as this is for you, those games sound like games where you are lucky not to be in.

It shouldn't be an issue in 2023 anyway, but if anyone is advertising their game as welcoming of non-straight characters but don't mean men, it's a not subtlety coded message that lesbians are okay because they are sexualised and fit a male gaze rather than be a well rounded character in their own right.

Hope you get the games you want to play in, and most GMs wouldn't give a hoot over a characters sexuality.

In reply to bazhsw (msg # 2):

Yeah the fetishising of lesbians is very upsetting, that is another point that upsets me about it. Accepting because they think its hot rather than for story or character.

Yeah I am glad I am not in those games.

In reply to bazhsw (msg # 2):

I didn't even want to write any sex scenes in the games (I mean if they happened thats great but I wasn't joining just for that)... it's just part of the character descrption required for the entry.
This message was last edited by the user at 11:15, Mon 23 Oct 2023.

Thank you for reminding me... the inclusivity of any type of gender expression and sexuality is so normal for me, I often forget to explicitly state it in my rules and ads. And yes, I abhor the fetishization not just of the same sex attraction between women, but people in general. Like race, ethnicity, skin color... it's just gross.

In reply to shinanai (msg # 5):

I am finding out that most games don't want players, but they advertise for it every day.  I have been on the site for a week.  I came over from Unseen Servant forums looking for some fresh DM's and some 1E and 2E D&D games. After one of my old games came to an end.  I have been playing AD&D since I was  in High School but have also played all versions of D&D, Pathfinder, Warhammer, Warhammer Fantasy and 40K.

I don't care about your sexual orientation, Pronouns, or any other personal issues.  I am on here looking for a game to play and be a part of but not sure what I am doing wrong or why no one will even return my Access requests.  If there is something I am doing wrong at least tell me what.  Do I need to spend half a day writing an elaborate background to be told the DM only wants a specific race and class character?  Guess I will just try to find another site.

In reply to Darklin (msg # 6):

Each GM has different requirements to join usually stated on the game page to fill in before they will consider adding you. Then it can take a few days depending on how busy they are to read and consider the character. Some want simple backstories and some want complex ones. Some also just don’t respond because they haven’t turned off “looking for players”.

I also understand that orientation of characters doesn’t matter in your case however in the topic being discussed it is, it’s not personal issues being discussed more about games that want story driven characters in a realistic setting but won’t allow all types despite saying they do. The miss communication and lack of detail when applying to games makes it that much harder to design characters.

It can’t take a while for some games to respond, but keep at it! Finding the right game takes time but I think it’s worth it as there are good groups on this site :)

In reply to LeeDassin (msg # 1):

That is obnoxious and just plain rude, to be honest. Though considering it is 2023, sexuality (unless there is a darn good reason) really shouldn't be restricted.  Even back when homosexuality was considered taboo among mainstream groups (at least in my area) it still happened.

I am in a few adult games where it doesn't seem to be an issue, though since I write female characters my perspective is different than yours. If you send me a rMail I'll be happy to let you know what games those are, I don't want to advertise other peoples games in your thread.
This message was last updated by a moderator, as it was against the forum rules, at 13:24, Mon 23 Oct 2023.

In reply to Darklin (msg # 6):

Keep in mind that many people are on RPOL specifically because they do not have time to check on it on a daily basis. Some games move on a monthly posting rate. So sometimes it just takes a bit longer for someone to respond. Besides, game advertisements cannot be bumped more than once a week, so technically none of the games can be advertised daily.

But to roll it back to the topic at hand, I agree that there is also a severe lack of communication and people often failing to set the right expectations. There are many games where GMs do not specify that they simply do not want certain things and then sit there while a bunch of people put in the effort to guess why their application is not working. Or worse, ghost applicants entirely.

Mind you, it also goes the other way... sometimes people apply not even remotely bothering to read about the game that is posted or expecting things that have nothing to do with the posted game. One of the most common instances are that of someone wanting to play a character that absolutely clashes with the rest of the cast and is created with the sole purpose to cause issues and conflict. Also... main-character syndrome.

I think there was a Collville video about setting expectations and how failing to so only causes frustration for everyone involved. Aka someone wanting only sexy lesbians in a game, should maybe run a game specifically stating that they are looking for sexy sword fighting lesbians (yo, there is even a whole TTRPG system for that), but at least then everyone knows what they are getting into. Not wanting to shame anyone for their preferences... but that way it at least allows me to happily skip past it. Saves the GM also the time they would otherwise waste reading RTJs that they have no interest in.

In reply to Darklin (msg # 6):

I'm not sure what games you've applied to, but if you're using the search games function to look for games currently seeking players, you're less likely to get good results.

Unfortunately the search has no way of filtering out games which may be flagged as "looking for players" but which aren't actually active or for which the DM may have just forgotten to turn that flag off for.

Generally using the "Wanted - Players" forum and looking back through 1 or 2 weeks of posts will yield active games actually looking for new players, just be sure to check the game is still flagged as looking for players if it's a slightly older post.

Very much this. If your game is going in a certain direction make sure people know what they should or shouldn’t enter! I don’t want to make an application that gets rejected because I didn’t read something fully and no GM wants to read them either. I know I miss things and GMs let me know and I am fully willing to rewrite aspects to fit their concept.


Sexy sword fighting lesbians sounds like a rpg i would play with friends and we’d be the most kickass team ever! XD yeah if I know what I’m getting into and it’s what I want to play I could make an awesome character for that system!

@LeeDassin, sorry to hear this. I don't use those tags at all in my games, it never crossed my mind I guess (The Adult-rating is pretty all-encompassing to me. I also have each character use a consent form that explicitly states their comfort levels with romance and adult activities). I have a non-straight male character in my Zorro/Batman D&D political intrigue game and have injected some of those elements into the game to engage them more for the purposes of the story. If it's for your backstory and how you want to be engaged I'll work with it. These days I focus on the story/plots/arcs. Romance can be fun, but that's usually a side element. If you're still looking for a home you can rmail me as well.




@Darklin, advertise for the game you want. Keep sending RTJs and, eventually, you'll find a home. I know there are active 2e-style games that get bumped when they lose a player. As a GM I always appreciate an RTJ with a bit of personal touches - usually will get a response. You spent a minute crafting a polite inquiry, don't waste time writing a character concept unless you have it already saved somewhere. I've accepted players with well-crafted posts into a game before.
  As to the comment about active games, you can jump into a game and look at The Cast list to see when the GM and players previously logged in and their last posts were made. If it's been 3 months since anyone posted, especially the GM(s), it is a good bet the game is inactive.
  Good luck!

Great point about having it in Game Description and also in Game Introduction and my games welcome the LGBT community of great writers!
This message was last edited by the user at 13:34, Sat 28 Oct 2023.

The game, I believe, is called Macho Women with Guns. An actual game system.

In reply to darknash (msg # 14):

Actually, no.  I believe they're discussing Thirsty Sword Lesbians a new-ish game by Evil Hat.

In reply to bigbadron (msg # 15):

Yes, that one. :)

In reply to LeeDassin (msg # 1):

It's my personal (and entirely unsubstantiated) belief that lesbianism is "okay" because it plays toward the Harem fantasy that some guys seem to exhibit.

More on topic...
I agree with your general sentiment; many, many games could use more clarification as to expectations and goals.

In reply to Hunter (msg # 17):

Yes the fetishism of lesbians is very distressing, it’s unfair and just very telling. Pretending to be inclusive just to fill in the fantasy rather than believing in the story and experience of the players as well.

Thank you everyone for your support in my frustrations.

In reply to Darklin (msg # 6):

On this site there are over 6,000 games... it may well happen that at the beginning you have been unlucky (it is a fairly common experience for new players and new GMs - it happened to me as well), but give it a bit of time and you'll find what you are looking for.

In reply to Yaztromo (msg # 19):

Very true, I have found some wonderful communities in the past and I am in some still so I am very lucky :)

I've been on Rpol, off and on, for over a decade now.   And I've rarely encountered any game that mentions character sexuality in the rules at all.   I will say that:

- Any GM who rejects a character/player strictly on the basis of their orientation is one you're better off not having anything to do with.

- Men with a fixation on lesbians are not in any meaningful sense pro-LGBT, or pro-women, they're just horny dudes, in most cases.

- As a prospective player, there's often a right time and way of bringing up a character's sexuality.  For example, it could be off-putting to a GM if a player's RTJ goes on about it right out the gate, if the application didn't request that info, and the game isn't focused on sex-related themes.

- Anyone arriving on Rpol in hopes of profound romantic subplots, and/or high-quality co-written erotica is kidding themselves, whatever their orientation.  If you lean toward Adult-themed games, make peace with the fact that the tank you swim in might smell funny, in any number of ways.

- Rpol's just a microcosm of the real world.  Over time, you'll see all the same attitudes and issues, and some will be much more forward with them, while safe behind their keyboard.  Don't sweat it, don't take it personally, just move on and keep looking for the right game.

In reply to ShootingStar (msg # 21):

In this case the orientation was part of the RTJ which was why I put it in :) I go into adult games wanting to story with people about all sorts of things and if anything sexy happens then cool but it’s never a requirement for me. I’ve seen some very poor and very good written erps and found the best ones stem from a plot where there’s story behind why things are happening. But I’ve also seen the players that just want to write smut.

You are right. I’ve found good games with good writers and stores and I’m grateful for that :) thank you!

I'd probably have given it a really close second look, especially when the GM marks it for attention like you suggest.    And sometimes, it's harder to not join a game; especially when it's that magic gem you've been looking for.

It's good that you found the right place(s) to express yourself.
This message was last edited by the user at 18:47, Tue 31 Oct 2023.